


Doctor, Doctor (Extended Dance Mix)

by zillah1199



Series: Doctor, Doctor [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Humour, Multi, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 21:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1579769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zillah1199/pseuds/zillah1199
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Further adventures of a sexy doctor and a high-maintenance warrior.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doctor, Doctor (Extended Dance Mix)

Hawke was a hypochondriac. It hadn't taken long for Anders to figure it out, but some days it could be particularly trying. Like right now, when Hawke was bent over a cot, breeches around his ankles, whimpering.

“Please, Anders, I'm dying, here.”

“So how, exactly, did you end up sitting in a thorn bush again?”

“It was an accident, sort of. It seemed like a good idea at the time and I didn't know it would hurt this badly. Just fix it, okay? What if it becomes infected? Or gangrenous. I don't want my ass turning gangrenous, Anders.”

Anders' mouth quirked slightly. It wasn't professional to laugh at his patients. And Hawke probably was in pain. Not nearly as much as he made on, but the pale Ferelden skin was riddled with cuts and scratches, and a number of angry red welts where the delicate tips of sharp thorns had embedded themselves into sensitive flesh.

“Alright. I'm going to have extract some of these spines. It's going to hurt.” Hawke flinched as Anders gently ran his hands over the man's exposed behind. Hawke whimpered. “Don't be such a baby, Hawke. I've seen you take sword cuts to the ribs with less fussing.”

“Well my ribs aren't my ass, now are they? Just...just be gentle.”

“I'll do my best.”

It took about an hour to extract all of the plant matter from Hawke's behind, to soothe the irritiation and quell the first beginnings of infection. The screaming and weeping had been far less than Anders had come to expect from treating Hawke, but the warrior steadfastly refused to get off the cot.

“It still hurts.”

“You're fine. By the time you get back home, you won't even remember it happened.”

“Don't you have a salve or a cream or something?”

“Hawke, you're fine.”

“A lotion? Poultice?”

Anders sighed. “Wait here.” There were a number of soothing ointment in the clinic, they were easy enough to replace, and Andraste knew Hawke wasn't just a hypochondriac, he was stubborn to boot. He massaged a thick unguent into Hawke's backside while the warrior writhed and moaned. 

“There, right there. Oh, that's so much better, Anders, oh, Maker yes.” 

“Laying it on a little thick, aren't you, Hawke?”

“Hey, I was wounded!”

“All right, pants on and out of here. I've got work to do. Here, take the cream with you.” Tossing the jar onto the table next to him.  


“Are you sure I shouldn't come back tomorrow? So you can check on me? Apply more salve?Your hands are much more sensitive than mine, I can't do it properly.”

“No, Hawke.” Anders shooed the pouting man out of his clinic.

**** 

“Oh. Oh. There, yes.” Fenris' eyes were closed and he was leaning into the healer's touch. Anders was rubbing firm circles around the base of his ear, just under the shell. Fenris bit his lip and shivered, tilting his head slightly for better access.

“I had no idea elves were so prone to ear infections.” Hawke quipped, glaring at the two of them.

“It is an affliction.” Fenris agreed in his gravelly voice, toes curling, as Anders turned his attention to the outer lobe and auricle.

“It's always your left ear, too.”

“That one is particularly sensitive.” A slight hitch in his breath.

“I'm sorry, did that hurt?” Anders drew his hand away.

“No, no it is fine. Please continue.”

“Alright, I'm going to use magic now.”

“I am ready.” The fingers tracing Fenris' ear shimmered with arcane light and Fenris groaned, trembled and twitched slightly, clawed fingers digging into the surface of the cot, then sighed in contentment.

“That wasn't too bad, I hope?” 

Fenris blinked, eyes slightly unfocused. “It was fine...yes, fine. My thanks.”

Anders gave his ear one last touch, making certain he hadn't missed anything. “Alright, then. Come straight back if that starts bothering you again. Ear infections can be dangerous.” He made sure to put on his best 'stern healer' face, the one he learned from Wynne.

“I will.” Anders had his back to them so he missed the smirk Fenris directed at Hawke and the poisonous glare Hawke shot the elf in return.

Anders finished washing his hands with a sigh. “Well, Hawke what is it today?”

“I think I have a hernia.”

“Uh huh.”

“It hurts.”

“Do you even know what a hernia feels like?”

“No...?”

“Alright, what are your symptoms?”

“It hurts?”

“Can we be a bit more specific, Hawke? Where does it hurt? Is there any swelling? Is it worse when you cough?”

“Yes?”

Anders shook his head and gestured, “Alright then, trousers off.”

Dropping his pants, Hawke gestured to a slightly red area just inside his hipbone. “See the swelling? It's enormous.”

“Gigantic.” Anders agreed, dryly. He warmed his hands briefly and cupped Hawke's testicles. “Turn your head and cough.” Hawke coughed wetly. “Again.” Fingers probing the skin and muscles around the sac. “Quit squirming. Okay. Lie down on the cot.”

Hawke did as he was told. “It's a hernia, isn't it?”

“No, I'm pretty sure it's just a pulled groin muscle. I can heal it, if you like.”

“Oh, well. Are you sure you want to waste the mana? I mean, I know you've been pretty busy lately, maybe you could just massage it?” 

“That's very thoughtful Hawke. It has been a long day, and I'm feeling pretty tapped out.”

“Yes, well. All those _ear infections_.” A sour note crept into Hawke's voice.

Anders chuckled. “Merrill gets them too.” He began working the muscles and tendons over Hawkes' hipbone and groin.

“Does she, now.” Hawke tried to maintain a glower, but Anders fingers digging into his flesh was sheer bliss. He groaned as the healer alternated deep probing with gentle friction. Anders politely ignored Hawke's increasing erection, no matter how much the warrior moaned and wiggled.

“Well, I think that should do it. Try not to overuse that muscle in the near future.” Anders stepped back.

“Anders, I'm a mercenary. I fight for a living.” He tucked his painfully hard member back into his trousers, looking mournfully at the healer.

“Well, yes. Just try not to stress that area for a day or two, alright? Have Bethany conjure you some ice if it starts swelling again.”

“Not bloody likely,” Hawke grumbled.

“See you later at Wicked Grace!” Anders called after him as Hawke slouched out of the clinic.

**** 

“It's hypothermia, isn't it?”

“No, Hawke, you are not suffering from hypothermia.”

“But I'm so c-cold.”

“You fell in the ocean. Of course you're cold. I'd be more worried about what you might have caught swallowing that water.”

Hawke paled visibly. “Do you need to check my tongue? My throat?”

Anders chuckled. “No, a potion should take care of anything nasty. You probably could stand to warm up though. Here, take your shirt off.” Hawke stripped off his wet tunic and trousers and Anders began to briskly rub his arms.

“Shouldn't you take your clothes off too? Wrap us up in a blanket? That's what they do in Varric's books. Shared body heat.”

Anders frowned. 

“Well, we can't make a fire, with wet wood and you out of mana, and we're stuck here till dawn and we don't want to waste our last lyrium potion.”

“Why in the Void is it even snowing? We're on the coast, it's late spring.”

“Just my luck, I guess. At least those apostates got to the ship safely.”

Anders smiled. “Thanks for that, Hawke. I know I shouldn't involve you in the Underground, but...”

“Hush. Any one of those kids could be my sister.” 

“Well, our cloaks aren't much of a blanket, and I guess your lips are looking a bit blue.” Anders stripped and wrapped the cloaks around them, laying with his back to Hawke.

“Anders?”

“Yes?”

“Shouldn't you have your arms around me or something. I'm still shivering.”

“Shivering is good, it'll help bring your temperature up.”

“Wouldn't it be better if you had your arms around me. My chest is cold.”

“I _am_ a healer, Hawke, I do know what I'm doing.”

“But...”

“Fine, come here.” Anders rolled over and wrapped his arms around Garrett, his chest pressed firmly to the other man's back, arms holding him close. Hawke sighed and nestled back into the embrace.

“That's so much better.” Anders' arms were warm and strong around him, lean body fitting perfectly against the curve of his back. Warmth began to spread through his body, pooling in his groin.

“Anders.” He laced his fingers through the healers' hands. “You have no idea what you do to me. How I've been aching for you. I want you, so badly.” He'd been meaning to confess and now, pressed together, naked in the darkness, seemed the perfect time.

A soft, whistling snore at the back of his neck was the only response. Hawke grumbled, irritably counting sheep until he drifted off himself.

It was still dark when Hawke woke. He could feel the firm press of Anders' erection against his backside. Anders was mumbling slightly in his sleep, hips rocking minutely as he drifted in some erotic dream. Torn between jealousy and arousal, Hawke reached behind him to run his hand along the healers' thigh. Anders grunted slightly, but didn't wake. Garrett arched back into the sweet hardness nestled into the cleft of his ass. It wasn't exactly what he'd imagined, in his many, many fantasies, but, hey, at least they were both naked together. Shifting slightly, he began stroking himself. Sometimes you just had to work with what you got.

**** 

“Thank you so much, Anders.” Bethany beamed at the healer. “I'd take care of it myself, but it's just so awkward, you know, trying to reach...” 

“It's not a problem. Yeast infections usually clear up in about a week with this salve, but you have to thoroughly coat the infected area, inside and out. Make sure you come back every evening for treatment. We'll have this cleared up in no time.” 

“Of course. Thank you again.” Hawke could swear that she was batting her eyes. 'Traitor' he mouthed at her as she left the clinic, wiggling her eyebrows as she passed him.

“Hawke! How's my most dedicated patient? Nagging cough? Ingrown toenail? Rare tropical disease?”

“I think I have hemorrhoids.”

“Itching? Burning?”

“Maker, yes.”

“Any blood?” 

Hawke shook his head, dropping his trousers as Anders reached for a tub of oil. “Make sure it's a really thorough exam. I'd hate to have a problem while I'm working. Hard to kill monsters when you're scratching your bum.”

“Of course.”

“Very thorough,” Hawke repeated, eagerly bending over the cot. “I don't want to take any chances.”


End file.
